People sometimes ask me, “Is managing your emotions important for an entrepreneur? It seems like being an entrepreneur is more about focus and hard work.” Well, what is going to keep you focused and working hard? Mastering your emotions.
It’s important to know what those emotional triggers are that can cause you to act or cause you to freeze. I’ve talked with Tony Robbins about this, and he said that you need to determine what your default emotion is. When your poked, prodded, bored, etc. what emotion is your go-to emotion? For some, it’s stress, worry, or anger. For others, it’s passion, excitement, or joy.
The thing to remember is that we all have a choice. We can choose what our default emotion will be. We can decide which default emotion is going to serve us, and if our current default emotion is serving us the most.
If our default emotion is on the negative side like stress, worry, doubt, or anger, it’s like putting a limiter on our potential. We are not attracting people to us with those emotional states. We might be pushing some people away or even drawing in others who are also angry or full of doubt. There is a choice. There is a range of emotions that we can choose from. Now, I’m not saying that you can’t bounce into those negative emotions on occasion. But that central, default emotion should not be negative if you want to attract people to you.
When I talked with Tony, he said that it’s easy to get stressed over almost every aspect of life. But he finally decided that it’s a choice, and he could replace the stress for passion, joy, happiness, and gratitude. What if your default emotion was gratitude or joy? You may be pushed into stress, but you always come back to the joy and gratitude, come back to the passion. Anger will repel people, but passion will draw them in. So, what is your default emotion?
I know that sometimes it seems hard to feel positive, especially during times of physical or emotional pain. But we have a choice. We can control how long we stay in the suffering. The pain isn’t a choice, but the emotional suffering is.
One other thing Tony said that just blew me away was that he decided that the person he was on stage was the person he was going to take home with him, and that was going to be his default. Just imagine if you took the most vibrant, energetic, passionate you, and took that person home with you, made that your default emotional state. How would your normal day be different?
All of those negative emotions will come and go. But if you control that default state, you can start to take control of your life.